| | |
10/26/2005 11:40:00 PM
DOOM: The Paul Review
I am a videogame nerd. I feel a certain responsibility to patronize the films that attempt to translate the worlds greatest hobby into celluloid magic, so I went to see DOOM.
Boo, Hiss!
Oh sweet lord, this is without a doubt one of the three worst films ever made. Batman and Robin is still the undisputed champ, however DOOM is a true challenge for the throne.
Nothing happens in this film. No characters are developed. No plot is followed. Nothing happens. For the first forty minutes of this movie you are gently rocked to sleep by the assy-ness of the dialogue, lack of action, and pointless meandering exposition. Then you are mildly nudged from slumber with a flurry of explosions and curse words. Boo! Damn. I knew this film was bad from reviews I had read, still this thing needs a surgeon generals warning "May Cause Loss Of Feeling In Brain". I have never wanted to leave a film so badly. Skilz treated me to the ticket and I still want my money back with interest. The end credits do have Nine Inch Nails playing over them so that was bearable. Avoid this film like a leper colony. Ugh I can still taste it! Never clean again!!!
Boo
TFP
| |
| |
| |
